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“It isn’t a real job” What Dommes do behind the scenes


Dommes are often told that They don’t have a real job. They’re doing this for fun, and if They aren’t then They’re fakes. Yes, it is fun--shouldn't We enjoy what We do? Since I started being a Pro, I have been so satisfied! Dominating fulfills many of My mental and emotional needs, from creativity and helping people, to critical thinking and solving complex problems. I love My work even with all the hardships My industry has faced lately. However, it is also work; there's a lot of things to maintain in addition to the actual physical effort involved.

Firstly, you need to have a particular set of skills, which of course you need to learn. This is either done through extensive research (reading books, advice forums, and watching videos); attending classes and events; or finding a mentor for individual training. Learning takes time, effort, and sometimes a small pile of cash. There are many skills in which to learn, from the fun ones such as bondage & impact play to the necessary topics such as first aid, safety, negotiation, and aftercare. Of course, one learns their own kinks first, but to be a professional, one has to learn the kinks they don't necessarily get off on either. Once you learn these skills, they take practice to develop and maintain. Are you throwing that flogger correctly? Do you remember how to tie that knot without it cinching?

There's also a small mountain of books that are considered required reading, covering topics including domination, erotic humiliation, protocols, BDSM basics, psychology, and human sexuality. Additionally, you need to keep up on articles and discussion forums. You never stop learning, there's always something new: a new type of cleaning method, new toys to learn to wield, recent discoveries in how the body works, and industry news. Now that you have the know how, you need to get out there! Independent Dommes have to attract their own clients. We have to build our own website, which can take months, especially if you're doing it yourself, and then it needs maintained. You need to learn about SEO's, VPN's, keywords, servers, track website hits, analyze the data to see where most of your views are coming from and where needs to be improved, that your site gets the point across but won't be banned. Ads need to be created to direct potential clients to the website, links established to directories, and creating a social media presence without being shadow-banned or deleted. All this means one has to make content such as writing, responding to other's writing, taking pictures, and making clips.

In order to look good in pictures and videos, one has to work on their image. It's all the typical female maintenance requirements but amplified. Diet and exercise are required to attain the physique guys lust over, not to mention you'll need the strength and endurance if you're going to whip someone for an hour or more. Hair needs regular color and styling, makeup expertly applied, personal grooming (shaving, plucking), oh, and did you have a foot worship session coming up? Then you need to exfoliate your feet, keep them moisturized to be baby soft, and get a pedicure. It takes work to look this good! Remember, all of this has to be done just before seeing a client as well. Hooray, you've got responses! Now you have to respond to the emails and direct messages, inevitably repeat most everything you've written on your website, go through screen procedures, get into negotiations, and hope that the person you're talking to might actually book a session rather than having just wasted your time. All of this has to be done in a timely manner or your potential client may go elsewhere.

Even after all of this is completed, you've had your session, you've gotten your fee, there's still work to be done. All the toys, implements, and equipment you used needs to be cleaned properly, reorganized, and put away. This can take a while depending on how much equipment you dragged out. Cleanup after a OTK spanking is going to be much less than after wax play. Wait! You're still not done! You need to do your accounting. Tracking your income, your expenses, and watching your budget to make sure you've got enough to cover your bills for the next month or so, because this business isn't steady. It's assumed that because of the "high price" of a Domme, She has a lot of money, but that's not necessarily true. Domination is cyclical and dry spells do happen. You may be fat with cash one month, but struggling to make end meet the next.

So I don't work? Hopefully you see that's not true--a lot of energy goes into making something look effortless. I'm certainly not sitting around a dungeon all day in perfect dress and makeup with a stable of slaves to cater to me.

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