top of page

Would You Like to Know How I Got These Scars?

I had eye surgery last week. It was the removal of a small imperfection which was causing Me issues, and I couldn't abide such a blemish as the rest of Me is perfect. The surgeon told Me it was going to be a minor procedure, but it affected Me much more than anticipated. Mainly, I was shocked by how much marking there was afterwards.

I was told after the procedure was completed that it was going to heal like a bruise. There's immediate blood flow to the area, causing redness, and gradually it will dissipate out going through the wonderful range of yellows before it a couple weeks. Naturally, I was shocked by the recovery time for this "minor" procedure. I don't consider Myself to have vanity as one of my flaws but in My line of work, one's countenance is quite literally a selling point. The eyes are the window to the soul, and Mine looked more stained glass than crystalline. Rather than submit to what others may think of My looks during this healing period, I've decided to dominate this problem like the badass I am. Let Me tell you how I earned this purple badge of courage. Firstly, because the area was on the side of My eyeball and it was deemed a minor procedure, everything was done while I was awake. I was wheeled back to the operating theater and they covered all of Me except for the offending eye. A numbing eyedrop was administered while they cleaned the area, and then the fun began! My eyelids were pried open with forceps so I couldn't blink. I was told to look right and the surgeon drew on My eye with pen around the area to be excised before injecting further numbing agent into the area underneath the skin of My eyeball. Then they began cutting the area out. Mind you, this entire time I'm staring to the right, into darkness, into nothingness, trying desperately not to look at what's going on in My peripheral vision because I know what they're doing and if I look left I could seriously injure My cornea. "How are you doing?" they ask. "Seriously creeped out." I reply. Having successfully removed the offending area, they pulled the tissue together and cauterized it. Yes, that's right, cauterized it. So yes, currently My eye is red and full of blood causing Me to look like a Resident Evil zombie, but I was stabbed, cut, and burnt on My eyeball while I was awake, and if you don't think that's badass then I have some ideas for a medical play scene I'd like to enact with you.

bottom of page